Friday, May 05, 2017

Unwinding

May 5, 2017

End of the semester. Going through all the little papers and things brings back a lot of memories.

My girlfriend is getting treatment. Being without a phone, I needed my wife to rely messages. I'm glad they are working together and getting used to each other. We'll see how things go when she's out.

But I now have a phone, but don't know what to do with it. It's bigger and faster and holds a charge longer. So far, s'okay. I can now actually see the emoji people send in text messages. Maybe I'll snapchat, too.

All of the grade tabulations should be done by tonight, then I'll post the grades and gather together all the papers left behind and send their Spirit to the winds.

A few of the students this semester are really good people I'll stay in touch with. I hope they meet other students who've become friends. I like hearing and seeing how the people become close with one another and help each other out, or frustrate each other the way friends do.

I always fall short of my own goals during the semester. I want to keep evolving what I'm doing. I am also growing older and losing energy. Mentally I still feel sharp, but I also recognize how I lose information all the time as more and more keeps trying to take root. The same is true for the bureaucracy of the class.

I'm getting better with the yoga Colleen puts me through. She's much more flexible and stronger, although I can hold some poses pretty well. She has this calm voice when she's leading yoga that she never uses any other time. I think it's her teaching/instructing voice.

Our landlady giveth and taketh away. She did want for us/me to cut the grass, remove the ivy, cut back the brush, plant flowers and whatnot for $100 off the rent. Now she says she's going to go with a guy, or actually three guys, who "have more tools" to work with. She kept emphasizing I lacked tools, and he had the tools. I don't know what she's going to pay someone to do, but I'm not sure it's worth it to three people to work on the property for $100. It's going to take time, and dividing that up three ways for even two hours of work is not going to cover a month of spring growth. But it is true: I don't have nearly all the right things I will need to do all of that. So, instead, I'm okay with the guy. I wasn't too looking forward to the work. I'm much happier to do the little things I do in the goat pen to help the grass grow and slow down the erosion. I am also going to need my time during the summer to get myself producing.

Spiritually speaking, I feel both good and curious. I think I am in a small funk right now because I worry for the girlfriend and hope she is fine. I am also insecure about the things I did not finish for the semester and what this portends for the fall.

I continue to dream of houses and campuses. People in the dreams are packing up things, or we're discussing preparations. Often it's the calm before the riots, or the dead, or the invasion —I can sometimes see the first of the destroyers come in to my neighborhood or area, alone and staggering. But usually it's asking people what they got, what they need, where to get it. Sometimes the dream never takes off from there but turns into something else, like convincing the person they need to go, or to pay attention, or to just stop being annoying.


I miss you. I hope you are doing well now, and I hope also when you see this you are.


1 comment:

  1. I am well. I hope your soul finds its peace here in the present. Rest In Peace is a fine sentiment but, why wait until we are dead?
    -��

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