Tuesday, May 23, 2017

sitting

Where are you?

I know you're inside me.

I know I need you.

I am sometimes so scared without you.

Sometimes I try to walk out there, but I just want to hide behind things.

I look without finding you.

Not finding you, I look without knowing what I can't find.

My days are dreams. My memories are red and green like the visions in my dreams.

I step inside myself and walk along gravel paths, dead pine trees, sand and roots and dried red dust.

There are no birds inside me. There are no songs.

There are trees. There are molds. There are grass and weeds and all the jungle of privet and brush.

Far away from the hard roads and glass streets inside me, I know you are out here.

Where will we meet?

You are looking for him, too?

A little smaller boy, who vanished into the castles and malls, became part of them all.

Clouds in the sky begin piling onto themselves.

I am forgetting why I came here.

I do not know who you are anymore.

Sometimes, when I am lost inside myself, I hear her whispering in me.

Do you hear her, too?

She tells me that there's something wrong inside here.

That I need to step outside again and look for you out there.

But how did she get in here?

I want to go outside. I want to see the colors there are.

I want to hear the birds sing inside me again.

Do you sing?

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Is this wise?
Is this yours?
Is this love?

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