Thursday, May 21, 2015

A moment to pause

The period after the semester is a rough time. The high of teaching crashes into the withdrawals. The regrets explode as missed expectations. The new ideas come flooding with new readings and better insight into old ones. The need to reconnect and reform loves urges after a year of drawing inward. The summertime hibernation settles in to avoid unnecessary expenses.

The biggest theme coming out of the last year and in my philosophical exploration has been choice. For all that it's obvious we are machines with programming and logical responsibilities, we are also imagination and deep mystery. Emphasizing one over the other is fragile. Embracing both is dangerous. Living life is what's important.

There is a horizon of something ahead. Possibly great, great news. Likely good news. But either way, hard work will pay off.

What do you do when you discover that maybe it's okay to hope big and see everything that was once a pile of miserable shit turn into peace of mind?

You pause. You assess. You evaluate what's important.

And then you make a choice. Machines can be rewired. Ghosts can be bargained with.

It's a cool morning on a very bright day. The wind soughs through the trees like a long, unending sweep of the broom.

It will not erase the past, but maybe this moment of getting things tidier and sweeping them into a pile will help. It helps to have all of the past more arranged. That way, the future finds itself much easier to settle in.

There's no construction or tree genociding taking place at the end of the cul de sac this morning. It's just the wind, the ravens, the goats, the clicker clacker of a keyboard.

I can change one of those noises now.

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