Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Inside Me on the Outside You

It starts out like all the usual nights.

Watching you across the room, eyes closed, rhythmic dancing, a music I can only hear by paying attention to your thigh's curve. The song this night is on the tip of my tongue. Staring down harder must help me remember the song, right?

I love your knees. That bit of strong tendon, or whatever that is, behind the main part of the knee, holding your calves onto your leg. I am lost. I don't understand it. Whoever could explain why we all have our body parts to fascinate us? Now, maybe that's dishonest. I'd rather say, I lost it at all of your body parts. I love all of you.

You move in a time all your own. I watch you dance from time to time and see how the world inside you changes when you close your eyes to the song guiding your worlding. I see that world in my mind when I close my eyes and remember you closing your eyes. That's how I work, that's my gift. If I remember how each bit of you looked when you started to dream, then maybe I can live inside your dreams, since I no longer have any. I just have to stop looking at the world, and that's my hardest struggle.

If I close my eyes, it all goes away, and I find happiness in your happiness.
But then I no longer see the darkness.
If I open my eyes, it all goes away, and I find darkness in your happiness.
But then I no longer see the happiness.

This is why, in the end, I keep my eyes open but watch you dance. I will never live inside your dreams, not ever again, but I will live on the outside knowing maybe on the inside, I can help you dream just a little while longer.

I love all of you. I do not understand why the body parts fascinate me, but each one, each little mole next to a hair, each little region that smells like fresh and wild horses, each little scar across your wrist, each are little stories my eyes drag me on to listen. So how can I resist you, how can I not keep my eyes open, to watch you dance, to watch you dance,
to remember there is dancing worth

the night.

1 comment:

Is this wise?
Is this yours?
Is this love?

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