Monday, March 24, 2014

Mind Reading

I am a mind reader. I tell you this, and I know already you don't believe me. It's hard to believe in, especially since the movies get it all wrong.

I don't hear what you say. I feel what you feel.

Underneath the words is a wealth of human. Humans flow like any other system of information, and reception to the flow comes from experience, intuition, mathematical insight, and keen sensory acquisition. Observation is a constructive process. If we think it is otherwise, we lose out on the steps and methods naturally built into perfecting receiving humans. In other words, if you think how you experience the world is immediate, you can't improve how you experience the world. So, accept there is as much of you in the world as it appears as the world itself. Thus, there is a lot of you in the person you're trying to mind read. Knowing who that is in them gives them insight into how to speak and share with you.

Some people think this is intimacy. It's not any more or less intimate than how you notice the traffic lights, the sun light, those lights on your glass lenses only you can see.

No, intimacy goes beyond mind reading, although the latter helps a lot with the former.

Intimacy is movement towards unity. It is moving something inward, into the interior space. The closer we can move, whether in emotional, physical, material, spiritual modes or others, towards one another, the sooner we achieve oneness with one another.

Mind reading isn't oneness. It's more something like this. The model I have of you, my theory of you and the interpretations made through it, works inside my mind as a site of emotional and intentional content.

It's not a conscious process. But the more familiar with someone I am, or even the more familiar I am with the patterns I see duplicated in individuals, the more the sensation comes to feel like my own feelings, even though these are models my mind generates and constantly updates.

It's exhausting sometimes. It's weird. It's all in my head.

It's probably also why I start to feel very uncomfortable around a lot of new people. It's a lot of processing to run the virtualizations initially. Lots of quiet down time until I can start getting interactive feedback. I think it is also a lot of my general discomfort with people generally. I try and erase how I think about people, to listen to what they say are their feelings and thoughts and beliefs, to let them be who they are. But if I only know someone through how they reflect me in themselves, then am I ever really knowing anyone but myself through another? Don't you see the fundamental unease in this, my suspicion of the possibility of intimacy at all?

Of course. That's what worries me.

Thanks, I knew I could count on you to listen to me.

Yes, I know, it's a lot to set up for a joke like this.

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