Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Remembering feelings

Remembering feelings, feeling so foreign so fleeting so filling so foreign feeling forever, fr'ever, found

I'm sixteen on your doorstep with a shattered heart and a bicycle
Knocking on your door softly and sneaking in
lights all doused hoping no arousal
save for a foolish thrilling mounting trysting

I'm seventeen on your doorstep with a shattered heart and a bicycle
Knocking on your door bursting tears drysmal rain
she told me she told me stole me stole soul lost
and in silence you sat so clumsy comforting me
the best damn thing a friend will ever do

I'm twenty on your doorstep with a shattered heart and a truck
Knocking on your door pleading please to let me in
I don't know how or I don't know why but
i love her i love her
too

I'm twenty-four within my doorstep with a shattered heart and Nintendo
Knocking on my door you silently slide inside
To watch me as I play my game, selling lies
to tempt me, tempt me to arise, ride on down your eyes
How i never even touched you
But once inside you came, I knew

I'm twenty-nine on your doorstep with a shattered heart and a gown
Knocking on your door dying sinside this time
And you came outside to see me
I loved you, I love you, I will always love you
I miss you. I do. I do.

I'm twenty-nine on your doorstep with a shattered heart and my uniform
Knocking on your door already biding my time with you
Take the damn stripes. Take the damn pride.
Take all of fucking you.
You killed it all, you and all fucks like you

I'm thirty-one on your doorstep with a shattered heart and short clothes
Knocking on your door fiercely frightened and horny
You took me in and shaped and freed me
gave me dreams and made me screams first with freedom
then with fever. i did you wrong, because I was wrong
and now that that is gone

I'm thirty-two on your doorstep with a shattered heart and teeth
Knocking on your door confidently arrogantly proud
We collide leaning sliding saddling then licking sticking knives
Cut render seering tickling snicking snacking teetering tot
The first ever time, the first, ever
through god through you was I ever so
completely nude
completely you, two minds one space
one room two beds: one chair reclined
the other medicinal bed
My hand your hair my tears this floor
Not now, not ever, not yet, not yet, not yet,
not fair, so there so over there so far so away, not but one foot away
You heal me, you teach me, you love me, you share me
You love me, you show me, you make me
My goddess, my torch, my tendrils toes and nightly delights
Invader persuader, you dissuade the charades
Clipping and pruning, far too green ivy, maybe
the occasional rose, could be, but
I trust you to make the cut
Just don't clip too soon
Just once let me live
I'm talking to you

live inside your doorstep.

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Is this yours?
Is this love?

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